I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize