Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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