Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I made him laugh his dick is mine
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize