I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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