I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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