Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
A+ Viking dick
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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