i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
