shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You did what with his pubic hair?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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