I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
