why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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