Pappa wants mamma naked
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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