Your face is a jimmy john
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
