You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
