FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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