it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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