You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
