don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
