Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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