covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
only if we run a train.
done.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize