Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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