dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
