I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
