Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
