I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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