so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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