you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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