The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
