Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
