Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
