Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
