these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
