I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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