How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
