i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Acid is not a monday night drug
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
