I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
