he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
