By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
