i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
