This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
