let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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