So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
