First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
