i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
