chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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