I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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