My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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