i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
