I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
