even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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