she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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