handjob tips. give me some.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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