I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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