Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my being single is dangerous.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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