i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
