I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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