I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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