This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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