Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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