Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
